How to Repair Your Marriage in Ramadan

Repair your relationships? What? I believed Ramadan is only about studying the Quran and praying taraweeh. Who has time for relationships? I have goals I want to finish – like finishing the reading of the Quran, perfecting my recitation and doing as many sunnah prayers as possible. I simply do not have time. I would love to go in my little cocoon and do my worship in peace with no distractions, expectations or needs. I don’t wish to be disturbed! Sounds familiar?

Well, you aren’t alone! Vast majority of Muslims have expressed their utter annoyance in their loved ones for being in the manner of their worship. They are completely flustered about having to balance their marital life and children with all the requirements of Ramadan. The obvious solution for many is to discount their partner and kids so as to get the most benefit (or they believe) of the blessed month. They justify their actions by believing that it is just once a year and they can just handle without the excess time and care.

Imagine if you’re missing out on the actual fruit of Ramadan?

Imagine if in the rush of studying and praying you left out among the most valuable forms of worship that is being kind, understanding and available to your nearest and dearest?

Imagine if you’re stepping over a treasure chest of great deeds and failing what Allah values?

I know a lot of you are still not convinced. You’ve got a listing to accomplish & there’s a limited quantity of time daily. I would like you to reflect for a minute. Place the list aside just for a little while and think why does Allah want you to perform these acts of worship.

I am all for setting Ramadan religious goals and resolutions. Hearts are revived as the Quran is diligently read each day, fasting feeds the spirit and the taraweeh is similar to an IV that nourishes the effective bond with Allah. I am simply saying that all those acts of worship were created in Allah’s infinite wisdom to train you to have a much better personality. Rather than simply reading the Quran to have the ability to check it off a list, read with comprehension and reflection. Try actually implementing the advice which Allah is giving you.

Though you’re rewarded for each letter that you read, if you do not apply these strong words of advice that you won’t reach the transformative effects of the Quran. These words and guidance will change you when you set them to use.

There are hundreds of verses in the Quran about compassionate Living, forgiveness, charity and decent character but only 1 verse about fasting that means that through fasting we will need to cultivate compassion and decent character so as to meet what has been highlighted the most: great character.

Intention to Fix

I know that in the past or even before this article you never thought about placing any time and effort in your relationship because it is the month of the Quran and Taraweeh, but I would like you to create your intention to increase your marriage also. Come on…. A real intention not half-hearted! The sort of intention you make to quickly all 30 days without faltering.

Why in the world in Ramadan?

For improved concentration, power and accomplishment of your Ramadan goals! Everybody knows that a busted marriage completely drains you emotionally & frees you of energy, concentration & time. If you’re in a fight with your partner you won’t be able to have khushu on your prayer or possess the ideal attitude of benevolence. As soon as you fix your relationship you’ll be better able to carry out all of your acts of worship.

The shayateen are locked up so all the whispering about how annoying and irritating your partner is will hopefully come to a halt or at least slow down.

You’re high on iman! You’re fasting, praying and studying Quran which all act as a cleaner to your heart. Having a purified heart and a new found closeness with Allah, you’ll have the ability to become more loving, forgiving and compassionate to your partner.

Rewards are multiplied. Think of the morsel of food you put in your partner’s mouth and how thick it’ll be about the scales. Now if you really play a part in saving your marriage from divorce then you’ve hit on the ajar jackpot — much more reward than sitting in seclusion and studying away while giving filthy, cold looks at your partner.

OK…OK…I’M DONE…NOW WHAT?

Now that you have made your intention to fix your marriage and you know the logic of doing it in Ramadan, you’re ready to start. Remember you’re doing so to get the most amount of rewards this Ramadan through your marriage. It’s simple to read your Quran and pray lengthy prayers in isolation, but it is extremely tough to conquer your pride and fix your relationship. When you extend yourself beyond your comfort zone, that is when you are able to reach a new level of spiritual consciousness. So get ready to stretch!

HERE ARE SOME ACTIONS YOU CAN START IMMEDIATELY:

  1. Forgive the previous mistakes – think of this gigantic reward & your standing with Allah!
  2. Let go of those grudges – no need to drag this psychological mess with you
  3. Smile – It is a Sunnah and charity, so why not give it liberally to your spouse and children?
  4. Do loving acts during the day
  5. Get Small, thoughtful gifts during the month for your partner
  6. Spend At least 15 minutes per day bonding, sharing or reading every day
  7. Leave Love notes around the house about the things you enjoy on your spouse
  8. Listen For their struggles, dreams and be a source of encouragement
  9. Be affectionate with words, physical touch and loving acts

Be a Source of tranquility, love and mercy